Dear Watermelon,
Why are you only around in the summer? Why haven't I given you more notice before this year? Had I known that I could eat bowls and bowls of you, yet not consume a million calories, I would have started long before June 2008. It's sad, because now your color is getting paler and it's getting harder for me to justify buying an expensive fruit that isn't ripe. Your loss.
Until next year,
e
Dear Neighbor,
Why are you such a jerk? I know that you have previously been nice to me (by jump-starting my car - thank you), but your recent action discounts your kind gesture. Unlike you, we cannot afford to pay someone to mow our lawn, so Lee (that's my husband - I doubt you caught his name) has to do it on his own. He did not purposefully get a couple of pieces of grass on your clean driveway. In fact, he had plans of using our new leaf blower to clean them up. However, because of your snotty attitude, I am tempted to place leaves and pieces of grass in strategic places in your driveway. I hope they will serve as a banana peel to your car tires.
Cookies,
Mrs. Jones
Dear You,
I will pay you $50 plus apple pie (I'm making my first one now) to clean my house. Fair?
Begging,
Elizabeth
